


The Next Step

by steviemarie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7520677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviemarie/pseuds/steviemarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just the steps in your relationship with Eren, past and present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PRESENT: AGE 24

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a request for someone on dA.

“Eren,” there is concern in Armin's voice as the blonde boy tries to get attention of his friend. Eren had been the one to invite him (and Mikasa) out to lunch that day and for the half an hour they've been sitting in the café, Eren's barely spoken a word and that's quite unlike him. It's almost as if he isn't there, obviously he is physically but mentally Eren is anywhere but sitting at that table. He's not even concentrating on his food, just poking it around with his fork. Armin is starting to feel quite concerned. And quite left out of something, because apparently from the way Mikasa is just... there... shows him that she isn't too worried about her brother. “Is everything okay?” 

Eren opens his mouth to speak, seems to consider what he was going to say and closes his mouth again. Mikasa takes it on herself to answer for him. “Leave him,” she says, shrugging at the blonde. “Eren's distracted, but he'll be okay soon, that's all.” She lifts her fork to her mouth and takes another bite of food, almost as if she's trying to tell Armin that the conversation is over and that doesn't do anything to comfort the blue eyed boy who sighs and looks down at his own meal. 

The three of them remain in silence, Armin continues to sneak glances up at his two friends as he tries to read what's going on with them. “Something's going on.” He says and neither Eren or Mikasa speak to deny it. Armin sighs, taking another bite of his meal. He wishes that he could see what was going on in Eren's head right now, because the only thing that's clear to him about whatever is going on is that his oldest friend is thinking really hard about something. 

And he's worried just what it is.


	2. PAST: Age 5.

“Good afternoon, Levi!” Karla Jaeger chirped happily as she walked into the surgical offices that her husband Grisha worked at, prodding their two children, Eren and Mikasa into the building in front of her. The Levi in question, one of the main receptionists who was usually on desk this time of the day, looked up briefly from furiously scrubbing the counter in front of him to nod in greeting and push the bottle of antiseptic that was kept there at all times towards her. She rolled her eyes fondly, Levi did this every time he saw the two children and took it, bending down to squirt some onto the hands of the children. “Rub your hands together really well!” She instructed. 

As she stood back up, Karla looked around the waiting room and thought about how... different it was to see it like this during this time of the day. In the early afternoon, there were only a handful of people sitting around reading magazines and waiting to see the doctors. It was such a change from the mornings, which were hectic and full of so many people that Grisha and his two colleagues – Dr. Smith and Dr. Zoe – could barley keep up with the patients. She was happy that the afternoons were not the same, because she couldn't imagine what that would be like for the three of them (and Levi, who under her understanding only worked there because he'd struggled to find a job elsewhere and his friend Dr. Smith had taken pity on him. The first thing he did when he came into the offices would be to scrub everything down while muttering under his breath about filth and germs) if they had to do that all day every day. No, the afternoons were for extreme emergencies, clinics and blood tests and for giving the doctors a chance to get their paperwork done. 

Yeah, Grisha practically lived at the surgery as it was, Karla couldn't even imagine what it would be like if he had to stay there even later to get the paperwork done. And also, Karla was extremely grateful for those afternoons because it meant that she could drop Eren and Mikasa off at the surgery a few days a week during the summer so that she could do her errands and they could get a chance to actually spend time with their father. Sure, a lot of the time they ended up having to sit colouring behind the desk with Levi, or quietly reading in the corner of their father's office while he did work on his paperwork, but it was still spending time with him. And it still freed time up for Karla to go and do what she had to do. 

Today, however, was a little different. Today the paperwork that Grisha would be doing wouldn't just be the usual prescriptions and letters and blood test results, no, it would be accepting new patients into the surgery. The [lastname] were a family that had just moved to town. They didn't seem to have any family close by and when Mrs. [lastname] had called the surgery to ask if they were accepting new patients, she'd told Levi that they'd moved to get a fresh start. They did, however, have something that was of interest to the Jaeger family.

They had a daughter, who was around the same age as Eren and Mikasa. 

Karla had been so excited by this news when Grisha had casually mentioned to her that he would be meeting new patients and that they had a daughter, because she immediately wondered if they had possibly found a new friend for Mikasa. Though both Grisha and Karla loved Mikasa dearly, she wasn't their biological daughter, they'd taken her in after both of her parents had been killed in a car accident and she hadn't had anywhere else to go. They'd grown to love her like a daughter and that was why they wanted what was best for her and what they'd decided that she would benefit from making some new friends of her own, outside of Eren and Eren's only friend Armin. So far she'd rejected all attempts at growing closer to other people, but they still persisted, though carefully. 

“Grisha's still in a meeting.” Karla pulled herself out of her thoughts as she heard Levi's voice and looked over at him. “Hanji was running late back from lunch, so they're running about ten minutes behind. You want me to take them until he's ready?” He motioned to the two young children at Karla's side. She hesitated in replying, because she herself had been hoping to introduce herself to these new people too. Levi's eyes darted from her face before she even opened her mouth to say she'd hang around for a few minutes more and she turned her head to see people standing behind her. 

“Oh!” The woman behind her chuckled nervously, clearly she'd thought that Karla was actually a patient and she hadn't wanted to interrupt. “My daughter and I have an appointment to see Dr... Jaeger? Under the name [lastname]? [mothersname] and [name]. We're new patients.”

“Let me just check you in...” Levi mumbled, typing something into his computer. “Please take a seat, Dr. Jaeger will be with you momentarily, he's currently in a meeting and running late.”

“Thank you.” Mrs [lastname] smiled gratefully and reached for her daughters hand, ready to lead her over to the waiting area. 

Before she had a chance to take a seat, Karla was speaking up and holding her hand out to be shaken. “Hi, I'm Karla Jaeger, Dr. Jaeger's wife. I haven't seen you about before, are you new to the area? Welcome!” 

Karla wondered if Grisha had actually told this woman that he'd invited his kids to meet hers, because she seemed really taken aback by Karla's presence, but pulled herself together quickly and took ahold of the other woman's hand, shaking it with a warm smile. “Hi there, I'm [momsname] and yes, we're new to the area... we were told that this was the best surgery to come to so we had to see if they were taking on new patients, thank you for the warm welcome, this is my daughter, [name].” 

Karla leant down to address the girl who was holding onto her mother's skirt and looking up at the unfamiliar older woman wearily. “Hi [name]!” Karla's voice was enthusiastic. “This is my daughter, Mikasa...” she reached out for her daughters hand only to find out that she wasn't standing beside her. She couldn't help but sigh lightly as she felt tugs on her own skirts from behind and was alerted to the fact that Mikasa was hiding behind her. “Come on, Mikasa, say hi to the little girl.” 

While Karla was trying to dislodge her daughter from herself so that she'd talk to [name] and a Mrs. [lastname] who was awwing over how shy he was, her son thrust his hand in the direction of the new girl and with a big grin announced to her, “Hi, I'm Eren!”


	3. PAST: Age 9.

Nine year old Eren groaned in frustration and pushed himself off from his position of leaning on the wall outside of Mikasa's classroom. He'd been waiting for at least five minutes now and he didn't want to waste anymore of his break time when he should be off playing with his friends. He'd watched everyone else come out of the room except for her and so he had a sneaking suspicion that yet another teacher was talking to her about how smart she was and what a joy she was to teach. Sometimes he couldn't help but feel jealous of Mikasa and wonder if his parents preferred her, because while he definitely didn't fail anything, they had been informed on more than one occasion about quick temper and had once been called to the school when he'd gotten into a full on fight with one of his classmates. Whereas Mikasa was perfect, attentive in class, got straight A's and the only compliant people ever seemed to have about her was that she struggled to share balls in team sports. 

Well, if he wasn't going to meet Mikasa like he'd told her he would, he'd go find Armin instead. He knew just where Armin would be, sitting in a corner by a door with his head stuck in a book. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he exited the school building, heading to what he knew was Armin's favorite corner to see if he wanted to go and find Connie. However, when he arrived at Armin's corner, he didn't find Armin there. Instead he found a very sad looking [name] [lastname]. [name] and he had been friends for a couple of years now, since he'd been introduced to her at his Dad's office. His parents had been so desperate to find Mikasa a female friend and had often invited her over to play with Mikasa. And sure, she'd ended up playing with Mikasa, but Eren and Armin had always been involved too and Mikasa always seemed barely interested in [name]. They rarely saw each other in school, due to being in mainly different classes from each other. “[name]?” 

[name] looked up, rubbing at her eyes and sniffing. “Hi Eren.” 

Thoughts of looking for Armin or being irritated by Mikasa immediately disappear and Eren drops to his knees next to the girl. “What's wrong, [name]?” 

She shakes her head, rubbing at her eyes again. “Nothin'” 

“It's not nothing, something made you cry.” Eren frowns and then he remembers all the times he's seen [name] being pushed around by some of the other kids and he realizes. “Are you hiding here from Hitch because she's been picking on you again?” 

She doesn't say anything, but it that's all that's needed to answer everything and Eren rolls his eyes. “Hit her.” 

“Violence doesn't solve everything, Eren.” she says sadly. “If I hit Hitch, she'll hit me back ten times harder and ten times worse.” 

She's probably right, if she did then all it would probably do is catch Hitch off-guard a little and then it would just end up making things worse. Eren knows Hitch, Eren knows the people Hitch doesn't like and he knows that she's a pretty relentless bully and he doesn't want things to get worse for her. “You need to start standing up for yourself.” 

[name] shrugs. 

“If she does it again, come find me and I'll sort it out.”

“You can't hit girls, Eren.” She says wearily. 

“No.” Eren nods. “Mikasa can talk to her though...” It's not a terrible idea, despite her role as a perfect student there's no denying that Mikasa can stand up for herself and while she won't seek out [name]'s problems herself to help her... if Eren asks... “Okay? Because it's not fair you keep getting upset, you don't do anything to her.” 

She shrugs and Eren knows that's her language for whatever, but then she opens her mouth and a quiet “thanks Eren.” slips out. 

And instead of leaving her to find Armin, Eren spends the short time remaining in their break just sitting with her to make sure she's okay.


	4. PAST: Age 14

[name] snaps her gum in annoyance, looking down at the fourteen year old boy sitting on the floor before her. “Come on,” she snaps at him in exasperation. “We were supposed to leave to meet Mikasa and Armin half an hour ago!” Eren really is the weirdest, most annoying, most frustrating person she knows. Their plans for this Saturday afternoon were to go and spend a few hours wondering aimlessly around the mall because there really wasn't that much else to do in this town and Mikasa needed to get some violin strings anyway. 

It had fallen to [name] to come and get Eren and get him out of the house because Mikasa herself had spent the morning in violin lessons and Armin had said that he planned to go to the library and spend the morning studying. She'd been hopeful that when she arrived at the Jaeger household, that Eren would be at least ready to leave, but she wasn't expecting this when Karla had warmly greeted her and told her just to go upstairs because Eren was in his room.

No, she really hadn't expected to walk into Eren's room to find the boy still in his pyjamas (at twelve in the afternoon, gross), sitting cross-legged on the floor and surrounded by... Pokemon cards. Why had he picked now to try and organize these freaking things when he knew that they'd had plans, she didn't know. “Yeah, I'm almost done.” 

“I didn't even know they still made those things,” she groaned, flopping down on the floor next to him and pulling out her phone to text Mikasa and let her know that it didn't seem like Eren was planning on moving anytime soon. “Why do you have to do this now?” 

“I wanted to check something because I think I have something Horseface wants,” Eren replied with a grin, not looking up at her as he flicked through and stacked up the cards. “And they weren't in order, so I'm ordering them as I look for it.” 

She groaned again, both at the reference to 'Horseface' and at Eren's desire to organize his lame ass cards. “You're fourteen, shouldn't you be over that phase of your life by now? And we're not going to see Jean today, so what does it matter?”

Eren shrugged. “As if we're not going to see Kirschtein. You know Armin's probably mentioned to him in casual conversation that we're going to be about and you know he'll find some excuse to appear and stalk Mikasa.” He shuddered. 

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. “Mikasa can handle herself and Jean's not that bad.” 

Eren narrowed his eyes. “I know Mikasa can handle herself, but that doesn't mean that I need to see Kirschtein making a fool around her. And yes, he is so that bad. He's an idiot.”

She shrugged. “If you say so, I just think you're biased because he's always had a crush on your sister, but I don't think he's that bad. I mean, he's Marco Bodt's best friend and Marco's really sweet, so how bad could he be?” A wicked grin spread across her face. “Or maybe you're just jealous because you're into him and he's into Mikasa.” 

She bit down on her lip to stop herself from laughing as she watched Eren realise exactly what she'd just said to him, his face flushing an angry red color. He dropped the Pokemon cards he was clutching in his hands to the floor and he opened his mouth. “You're so disgusting.” 

“Why? Having a crush on a guy is disgusting?” She continued to tease, cocking her head to one side playfully. 

“Nope, thinking that anyone would have a crush on Kirschtein is disgusting.” 

Irritated by having plans and being confronted by Eren being a shit, a smirk crossed her face. “I don't know, Jean's kind of cute.” 

It took all of her willpower not to laugh as she watched the stack of cards still in Eren's hand fall to the floor as he whirled round to look at her, something she couldn't quite put her finger on flashing in those green eyes of his. It was somewhat close to the usual anger that had a tendency to flare up, but a little different. “That's even more disgusting then the thought of Jean and Mikasa.” He managed to splutter out.

She choked out a laugh. “What, why?” 

Eren fell uncharacteristically silent for a few seconds before he grabbed ahold of her hand. When she looked down at it and then up at Eren in confusion, he leant towards her pressing his lips against hers for just a second, before pulling away and staring at the ground cheeks burning red. 

Taken aback, her cheeks flaming too, her eyes found the floor before she found the courage to splutter out. “What'd you do that for?”

Not looking up at her, Eren shrugged. “Felt like it.” 

“You're so weird,” she snapped back at him, cheeks still flushed red. “That's the weirdest thing you've ever done, don't do weird things like that!” 

“Well don't say weird things about Jean then!” He retorted. 

The two of them fell silent, frozen in their positions, both too wary to speak up again first, but both knowing that it was the first time that either of them had kissed anyone before. It was Eren who broke the silence, his voice softer than usual. “Hey,” he said. “Do you want to ditch Armin and Mikasa and just hang out here today?” 

She swallowed, then smiled. “Okay.” 

*~*

The following Monday morning [name] walks into her Math class with her backpack slung over her back, feeling quite awkward. She text Mikasa on Saturday night and she hasn't heard from her since, nor has she heard from Eren since she left his house late on Saturday evening, leaving him to actually finish organizing those Pokemon cards. Her cheeks flush red as she remembers that he didn't get to finish it while she was still there. And then she remembers that she hasn't spoken to him since then either and her stomach tightens. She's been waiting for one of them to approach her today, either Mikasa to tell her that she knows and she's got her eyes on her and she's angry. Or Eren to just... speak to her. 

She slides into her desk, pulling out the appropriate textbook and dropping it onto her desk as she shoves her bag under the desk. When she looks up, she gets a glimpse of Eren Jaegar himself entering the classroom. He walks past her, not looking at her or speaking to her, but he does drop a piece of paper down on the desk in front of her. At first she thinks it's a mistake, until she sees her name scribbled hastily across it. She looks up and behind her to where he sits a few desks behind and he still won't look at her. 

Confused, she opens it. It doesn't say much, just one sentence in Eren's chicken scrawl and two hastily scribbled boxes that are of completely different sizes. It's not the 'yes' and 'no' by the boxes that catches her eye, it's the sentence above them. “Will you be my girlfriend?”. She whirls around to look at him again and this time he looks up and catches her eye, then looks back down at his desk.

She picks up her pen and reads and rereads the paper, before she lets herself tick one of the boxes. She folds it up and scribbles her own name out, replacing it with Eren. When the Math teacher turns away to write something that she wants them to copy down from the whiteboard, she turns and whispers to the person behind her to pass it back. She watches as the piece of paper is pinged onto Eren's own desk and he opens it and reads it.

She watches as the grin crosses Eren's face as he looks up to see if she's watching.


	5. PAST: AGE 15

Eren holds up the cold treat in his hand for his girlfriend to take a lick of her side of. It's a cold day, much colder than they'd anticipated that it would be and the two of them are freezing, but it didn't stop him from spending the last of the change in his pocket on an ice cream for the two of them. It's the first time they've properly been allowed to venture outside of Shiganshina further than into the next town, but they don't care, they were happy that they were able to do this. 

The pair of them watch as Mikasa and Armin stand at the shore, letting the waves lap over their ankles, something that Eren and [name] decided that they really didn't want to partake in. Eren takes another lick of his ice cream as Armin grabs ahold of Mikasa's hand, laughing as they tread a little deeper. Seeing Armin so happy was worth getting up and getting a train at the crack of dawn. Armin's always wanted to see the ocean, but his Grandfather isn't exactly in the best shape to travel so far. So the three of them had begged and pleaded and planned to be trusted enough to bring Armin here for a few hours. It had taken a long time for it to work, but it was absolutely worth it. 

Eren pulls his coat around him tighter, shivering in the cold weather. 

“You should go run around with them,” she tells him with a quirk of her eyebrow.

“It's too cold.” Eren grumbles, licking the ice cream again. “And I can see them fine from here. Besides, I'd rather stand here with you.” he pauses. “Did you know we've been us for six months now?”

She laughs lightly. “I can't believe you remember that, aren't boys supposed to forget anniversaries and stuff?”

“Are you saying you forgot?” He asks playfully, with a quirk of his eyebrow.

She looks up at him and grumbles, shivering in the cold. “Of course I didn't forget, I just didn't want to mention it incase you thought I was lame.” 

Eren presses a kiss against her head. “I'm the lame one, remember?”

She grins. “I remember.” 

The two of them fall silent again, distracted by watching their two friends cavort around. Eren can't help but feel a swell of happiness in his chest as his girlfriend shuffles next to him and his best friend and his sister run around looking like they're having the best time. The forgotten and now rapidly melting ice cream drips onto his hand and he leans down to lick some of the mess up, before turning to her. “Hey [name], do you want some of this?”As he turns and thrusts the ice cream in her direction, though, she looks up and her nose meets the rapidly melting cone. As anger flashes on her face, Eren can't help but laugh. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.”

“It's not funny,” she splutters back at him as she furiously rubs the stickiness off her nose. 

“You look really cute with ice cream on your nose though,” Eren teases her playfully before opening his mouth again to speak and letting out what is probably the biggest word vomit that has ever come from him in his fifteen years alive. “I love you.” 

As soon as he realizes what he'd said, Eren flushes red and stares straight ahead at their friends on the beach. If he dared look at [name], he would have seen that her expression was somewhat the same, flushed cheeks, scared to look at her boyfriend. Neither of them say anything for a couple of very long moments until Eren feels her fingers brush against his hand, locking with his own. 

And then her voice quietly breaks through the... well, quiet.

“I love you too.”


	6. PAST: AGE 18

Music pumped loudly throughout the Kirschtein household and Eren's head throbs as he he tries to navigate his way through the sweating bodies and spilled alcohol to find somewhere a little... quieter. He hadn't exactly been on board with the whole coming to a party after prom at Jean's idea (not that that was much of a surprise to anyone) but he'd been outvoted by Armin, Mikasa and [name] and so he'd found himself here. He was, for once, keeping his complaints to himself because he knew that this was somewhat important to his friends. After all, after graduation he'd be the only one of them left in Shiganshina because they were all drifting off somewhere else for college. 

And that sucked, he was so used to seeing them all every day and now he wouldn't outside of Skype. And as much of a child as it made him sound... it just wasn't fair and it just sucked that now the weeks were numbered until he'd be left alone with only a handful of the people he grew up with attending Shiganshina Community College with him while everyone else would be going off and having new adventures and meeting new people and probably forgetting about him. At this point he would have even settled for having Jean around to hang out with, but he was going to the same college as Mikasa was and he probably didn't even have to try that hard to get accepted because he was a legacy. 

He took one last look at the dancing mass of people to see if he could spot anyone he actually wanted to speak to right now, even though he wasn't the best of company, but seeing none of them he sighed and turned to wonder aimlessly around the Kirschtein household until he could find somewhere that was actually quiet so he could try and snap himself out of this slump and treat his prom night like the fun it was supposed to be. 

He didn't dare enter the kitchen, because he knew that Jean was hosting some weird drinking game in there and Eren didn't trust himself to not get caught up and involved, because Jean had that kind of effect on him and so he opted for the stairs instead, stepping over the writing mass of PDA that was Sasha and Connie and looking for somewhere quiet. He found himself in what he assumed was Jean's room and even though he knew that Jean would kill him if he walked in and found him in there, he threw himself down on the bed and pulled his phone out of his pocket to distract himself with a game or whatever.

Except, instead of pulling up his apps, his finger slipped and he accidentally opened his media folder and from there found himself flicking through the pictures on his phone. Most of them were from the past year of hanging out and parties, some were older and were things that he didn't want to forget, like the first time they took Armin to the beach. There really were a thousand words of memories behind each image, most of them were of [name], but a lot of them were of Mikasa and Armin too.

And fuck, Eren was just going to miss this. This year had gone too far. 

“Why are you in here?” A voice cut through the semi-quiet and over the thumping sound of bass coming through the floorboards. Eren looked up to see [name] leaning on the doorway and even with half of her prom make-up gone from her face, she still looked adorable as hell. “I've been looking for you everywhere.” She crossed the room and settled down next to Eren on the bed. “Are you okay? You haven't seemed the happiest since we got here...” 

Eren couldn't help but feel a little guilty for making her seemingly worry about him and he shrugged it off. “I'm okay, it's just a little loud in here, that's all.” 

From the look she gave him, it was clear that she didn't believe a word of it, but she chose not to push him and after a few seconds of silence she spoke. “We didn't have to come, you know, you could have said no.” 

“I wanted to come because you guys were coming,” Eren tried to shrug it off. “Though I should have probably stayed home and just let you go, I have to get used to you not being around.” Shit, he hadn't meant for that last part to slip out.

She sighed heavily. “Is that what you're worried about? Don't, nothing is going to change.” 

Eren scoffed. “What are you talking about? Everything is going to change, none of you are going to be in Shiganshina anymore.” 

“We're all going to call you every day though! Or Skype you.” She said, softly. “And yeah it's going to suck at first, but we're still going to be friends and once you meet new people and make new friends then it won't seem so bad.” 

“Don't want new friends,” Eren retorted stubbornly. “And what do you mean we're still going to be friends?”

She chuckles. “Well we're not going to be just friends, but I was talking like about the four of us. We're all still going to be friends, no matter what happens.”

“You mean we're still going to be friends until you meet new people and meet someone else, then you're going to forget all about me.” Eren tried to make it seem like he was joking, but she wasn't convinced. 

“I'm not going to meet anyone else, not like that.” she said quietly. “I promise. I love you, I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't.” When he didn't reply, she leant over and pressed her lips to his, pulling him in for a kiss. When the two separated, her eyes found his green ones. “I promise as much as I can that nothing will change. I don't want to talk about this anymore...” Her solemn look was replaced with a grin as she trailed a finger down Eren's button up. “You... me... Jean's room...”


	7. PAST: Age 19

It was uncharacteristically hot for Shiganshina and Eren lay on his bed, arms wrapped around [name]'s waist as she yawned in the heat, struggling to stay awake, though they'd been alone in the house all day they'd spent pretty much all of it in this position because it was too hot to even consider moving. It'd been quite some time since the two of them had been alone like this because her visits back to town from her college had become less and less frequent due to her work schedule (Eren has suggested that she quit her job, but she'd been quick to point out that she wouldn't be able to pay for her books or make visits home without it) and while she was usually pleased to be back home and hanging out with Eren... this time it seemed like she'd rather be anywhere else but here. Eren had been trying to convince himself that it was probably due to an essay or something she was supposed to be working on, but... He shook those thoughts from his mind and pressed a kiss into her back. “I love you.” 

“Mhm...” she mumbled back, sleepily. “What time is it?” 

Eren let go of her to lean over and pick up his phone. “Two-thirty, what time do you have to leave again?” 

She yawned again. “The train back is at four, so... really soon, actually.” She sat up and rubbed at her eyes, yawning yet again. 

Eren pulled himself up into a sitting position. “Do you really have to go back?” he joked. 

Usually she would have laughed at this, would have told him that she'd be back soon anyway, but not this time. “Yes.” she said, before clearing her throat. “Actually... I wanted to talk to you before I go back...” 

Eren's heart immediately sank. That sounded way too ominous to be good. “You know I love you, Eren...” her soft voice didn't sound at all comforting and all he could think was 'don't say but, don't say but...' “But...” She stared down at the bed spread so that she didn't have to look at the boy. “It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“Don't.”

She shook her head. “I don't want to, I just... I have to.” 

“Don't,” Eren said again. “Don't say it.” 

“I want to break up.” Her eyes still didn't look up. “I'm sorry, I wish it didn't have to be this way., but it does. I've been thinking about this the entire time I've been home and it just... it isn't fair.”

“It's fair,” Eren retorted. “I know that you're busy and I'll stop bugging you about coming home more...” 

“I'm sorry.” Was all she said again. 

“You promised,” Eren spat back at her. “You promised that things wouldn't change.” 

She finally looked up at him and flinched, as she tried to ignore the tears in her green eyes. “I promised as much as I could that nothing would change, but things did, so I can't keep that promise.” 

“Is there someone else?” 

“No!” She shook her head. “No. I still love you, I just can't do this anymore. Things have changed.” 

“That's the only way you're going to explain it? Things have changed? That isn't even an explanation, [name]!” 

“I'm sorry,” she said again, gathering her scattered belongings from the table next to his bed and throwing them into her bag. “I'm sorry.” she repeated as she pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

And with one last look at him, she left.


	8. PAST: Age 22.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of stuff happened this year.

Being back in Shiganshina definitely had not been apart of [name]'s post-graduate life plan. It wasn't that she hated the place, because how could she when it was where her Mom lived and she had so many good memories there? It was just that she hadn't really spent that much time there over the past few years and her plans had kind of turned into moving to a big city and getting a good job that she could work her way up in, the rest of her life could fall into place after that. 

She had sort of accomplished one of those goals, after graduation she and some of her college friends had made the decisions to move to a big city and found a wonderful apartment. What they hadn't accounted for though, was that now a degree didn't guarantee then to walk into a good job and big cities were hella expensive to live in. It only took a few months for their savings to start drying up and they'd found they had no choice but to look for work in their desired fields in other places. For [name], that had turned out to be Shiganshina and with the jobs she wanted so few and far between and being unable to remain in the city, she'd had no choice but to move back in with her Mom. 

It had been a few weeks since she'd been back in Shiganshina and honestly, it wasn't as terrible as she'd anticipated it to be. She just spent most of her time working in a job that she'd discovered she loved or doing stuff for her Mom, which admittedly wasn't great. As she saw it right now, she was still young and she could always stay with her job for a few years until she could afford and had an upper edge because of her experience. Then she could move out of her Mom's house and go live somewhere else. 

She was in a good mood today, it was a Friday and she'd just finished another week of work, on her way out her boss had stopped her and told her that he appreciated having her on the team because she was doing a good job and not even her Mom on the phone demanding that she bring home specific brands of bread and milk could bring her down. “Yes Mom,” she couldn't help but roll her eyes fondly as she held the phone between her shoulder and her cheek so she could use her non-basket carrying hand to check the expiration date on the milk she was holding. “It's definitely the right brand, it's definitely got enough time before the expiration date. No... I'm sure I don't have to double check, it's definitely got a green cap.” she slipped the bottle of milk into her basket and navigated her way over to the bread aisle. “Mom, I'm not going to forget the bread, you're on the damn phone reminding me and I'm trying to find it now.” She bit down on her lip to stop herself from cursing. She really did love her Mom, but times like this reminded her why she wanted to live somewhere else in the first place. 

After locating the correct brand and colour and explaining that it definitely had the packaging she was subscribing, she was finally able to hang up and whirl round on her heel so she could walk in the direction of the tills so that she could pay and leave and get out of there before it became anymore crowded and so she could go home and sleep for the weekend until it was time to work again, because the week had been exhausting. Except, as she'd turned she'd accidentally hit someone crouching down to get a loaf of bread from the bottom shelf with her basket. “Oh! I'm so sorry.” 

“No problem,” the voice of the male replied as he pulled a loaf off of the shelf and stood up. The voice was so familiar to her, that she looked up to see who'd spoken and her breath caught in her throat. Better dressed and slightly more mature looking, but still as attractive as the day she'd last seen him all those years ago... “Eren!” 

“[name].” That familiar pair of green eyes locked onto her own. She knew she should say something, ask how he'd been but the lump in her throat and the tightening feeling of her stomach was making things quite difficult... “What are you doing here?” He asked her, before she had a chance to open her mouth. “What are you doing here?”

To her embarrassment, it took her a couple of seconds longer than it should have to realize that he was talking about Shiganshina, not the grocery store they were in. “Oh. I've been back for a few weeks now,” she said, her voice coming out not far above a whisper in her nervousness. “I just started working here.” 

“Oh.” Was the only reply she got.

The pair of them stood there awkwardly looking at each either, neither of them quite knowing what to say to the other one because the last time they'd even spoken, let alone seen each other, had been the day that she'd walked out on him. She hadn't intended it to be like that, she'd planned to let him have his space for a while and then she was going to try and rekindle her friendship with him, but she found that the longer she'd gone without talking to him and the others, the harder the idea of calling him, or texting Armin, or Skyping Mikasa had been and in the end it had just been so long that to even text any of them would have been too weird, so she just never did. She knew that she should probably apologize for dumping him without any real explanation and never speaking to him of her friends again, so she wracked her brain for the best way to address it.

As it turned out, she didn't have to.

“Eren,” the pair of them looked up in time to see Mikasa place a hand on her brothers shoulder. Her eyes fixed onto the girl in front of her. [name] couldn't quite tell what she was thinking, because in a typical Mikasa fashion her expression remained blank, but she suspected it wasn't nice. “Let's go.” Her voice was firm. 

Eren cast his eyes over his ex-girlfriend again and opened his mouth, as if he was going to speak again, but all that he said was “see you, [name].” before turning and following his sister away. 

She bit down on her lip as she watched the pair of them walk away, suddenly not feeling so great about everything and feeling kind of drained, which probably wasn't just down to her tiredness. She really hadn't expected that to happen even though Shiganshina wasn't that big, so she really should have considered it and she was probably lucky that it had taken this long for her to bump into any of them. 

Her stomach was in knots, she felt embarrassed, guilty, but overall she was surprisingly happy to have seen him. 

With a sigh, she continued on her journey to the pay at the tills, feeling both dreading the idea, yet hopeful that she'd see him again. 

~*~

Two days later, [name] stood at the stove stirring a bubbling pot of soup and half-listening to the dull story that her Mother was telling her about one of her friends. She added a healthy dose of pepper, before turning down the heat and stirring again, yawning as her mother's voice continued. 

“Are you listening to me, [name]?” 

She jumped at the sharp edge to her Mom's voice and cursed under her breath as she almost knocked the boiling pan from the stove. “Yes.”

Her mother sighed. “Obviously not, because I said maybe you should go outside.” She got up from her position at the table and crossed the room, intending to take over the soup from her daughter. 

Seriously though? Because she hadn't been invested in some dull story about someone she didn't really know her mother was going to make her stand outside? She didn't need to be disciplined, she was twenty-two years old for crying out loud. “What? Why?” 

To her surprise, her Mom's lips quirked upwards into a small smile. “The Jaegar boys been wondering around out there for at least the past five minutes. Seems like he can't quite bring himself to ring the doorbell, so maybe you should go and put him out of his misery.”

She frowned, feeling a rush of nervousness. “What?” She hadn't told her Mom about the incident in the grocery store those days ago, so she had no reason to lie to play with or tease her. Sure enough, when she opened the front door there standing on her doorstep was Eren, his hand hovering in the air above the doorbell. “...Eren...?”

Eren coughed nervously, the hand that was hovering found it's way to the back of his neck and he laughed nervously. “Hey...” 

“What are you doing here?” She thought hard for reasons why Eren would show up here and the only reasoning she could come up with panicked her a little. Had something happened to Armin while she'd been gone? No, of course it hadn't, her mother would have told her if that was the case. But what reason could Eren have for wondering around her house in the dark like a creeper? 

“It's... nothing,” Eren shrugged. “I don't know why I thought that this would be a good idea. Just forget I was ever here.” 

Well, this was ridiculous and she couldn't help but scoff at the man. “Obviously it was important enough for you to walk all the way over here, so you might as well tell me what's on your mind.” 

“Just wanted to see if you and your Mom still lived here, I guess.” One disbelieving look from her however, had high sighing because that was a dumb excuse when his Dad was still the most popular doctor in Shiganshina and still had her mother on his books and if she'd left town, Grisha would have told him. “Okay, okay. I just wasn't expecting to see you the other day and it brought up some stuff that I hadn't thought about in a while and so I thought maybe it was a good idea to come and talk to you and now I'm wondering why.” 

She closed her eyes for a second before opening them with a drawn out breath. It was obvious what he was talking about and honestly, she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to go there. Couldn't they just go back to... existing without knowing what the other was up to? Of course she missed him, how could she not when he'd been in her life for so long, but this was just awkward. “Brought... what up?” she said innocently, deciding the best route was to play dumb and hope that it made him feel just as awkward so he'd stop talking and she could go inside and clean up the soup.

Because she just knew that it was currently bubbling over and ruining the stove, because there was no way that her Mom wasn't pressed against the window trying to lip read right now. Eren looked at her and it was obvious he wasn't going to leave and so she dropped down and sat on one of the porch steps, looking up at him expectantly. 

“Why'd you never talk to us again?” He finally spat out, sitting next to her on the step without waiting for an invitation or anything. It felt a little weird to have him so close to her that she could feel the radiating heat from his body. “Even Mikasa tried calling you and you never got back to her.” 

She cringed remembering the voicemail from Mikasa maybe a month after that day, it had been obvious that Eren or Armin had been the one to make her call and so she'd just never returned the call. “That was an accident really,” she mumbled looking down at the ground in front of her. “I thought it would be for the best to give everyone some space and then too much time had passed.” She paused. “I'm... sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, I just thought you'd all end up hating me.” 

Eren didn't really immediately and the silence was uncomfortable. “We could never *hate* you,” he said slowly. “Okay well, maybe we could for a while but we were all friends for so long, so we got over it while we were waiting for you to come back. And then you never did, you didn't even stop by when you were home for the holidays.” He cleared his throat. “Though while we're here, I might as well ask... why'd you do the other thing?” 

She let out a deep sigh, yep, there it was. “You really want to drag all that up when we've only started speaking again?” she said softly. 

“Don't you think you owe me that much?” 

Well, he had her there, so she shrugged. “Like I said, it wasn't fair.” 

“Fair on who? You never explained what that even meant.” 

Another sigh. “Both of us,” she looked up at him, her eyes meeting his green ones. “Eren, by the time I broke up with you things weren't good. Every time I'd call you, all you'd talk about is how much you missed me and how much you wished I'd come home more and how Mikasa and Armin were around so much more often and I was glad you missed me, but it made me feel so bad. And I know you were only kidding, or liked pretending you were kidding, but when you kept suggesting that I just quit my job so I could come home more...” she shook her head. “That was it, it all got too much... way too much and I was really, really trying to keep up with everything, Eren. I had all these new friends and I was trying to be able to afford to actually live and stay in school and it just felt like you weren't because you were always waiting around for me and that was holding you back.” She bit down on her lip for a second to brace herself for the next thing she had to tell him. “It got to the point where I felt like you were suffocating me and I didn't have any choice bit to end it so things would be better for both of us. I'd be less stressed and you'd have to make an effort in your own life instead of hanging around and waiting for me, because I didn't want things to be like that, I didn't want you to always be waiting for me because what kind of life is that? Our relationship was holding you back. I decided before I even came home that that was going to be the time I did it, because I couldn't do that to you over the phone or text. But when I got home it was so much harder than I thought it was going to be and I almost didn't, so I had to force myself when I was leaving again so it was done and that wasn't fair either and I'm sorry.” She took a breath. “It didn't mean I'd stopped loving you, because I really, really did and it was so hard to do... but I had to. It was for the best.” 

Eren stared straight ahead, not looking at her or speaking, trying to process what she'd just told him. 

“I'm sorry,” she said again. “But you did ask.” 

“I guess,” he finally spoke. “I didn't realize that I was affecting you so negatively. I just missed you so much and I thought that because you were meeting new people that if I made sure you knew how much I missed you that you wouldn't forget that I was here waiting for you.” 

She nodded, her eyes finding there way to the ground again. She really wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to that because while she found it sweet that he'd been insecure when he really hadn't needed to be, she really didn't enjoy dragging all this up again. It was in the past. She expected him to get up and leave, but he made no move to, but she couldn't handle the awkward anymore. “How's Armin? And Mikasa?” 

“Armin's Grandfather isn't doing that great,” Eren told her. “He came back to Shiganshina last year so he'd be around to look after him. As for Mikasa...” he pulled a face. “You saw her the other day, she's back here too except she lives with the Kirschtein's now.” 

Well, that was unexpected. “Kirschtein's? As in Jean Kirschtein?” 

“Horseface himself. They're engaged.” She couldn't help but notice the way he shuddered. 

“You're kidding!” 

“I wish I was,” he laughed lightly. “I knew you all leaving to go to college was a bad idea, look how much it made everyone change.” 

[name] couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for Eren, he'd never liked Jean so that had to sting. “You still hate him?” 

“I... tolerate him. You know, the way Mikasa used to tolerate you.” he shrugged. “Not gonna change her mind about him so no point in trying. I'm trying to get along with him, sometimes he makes it hard.” 

She winced, remembering the blank expression on Mikasa's face when she'd run into them. “When's the wedding?” 

“Five months anyway, I wouldn't hold your breath for an invitation. Did you say how long you were going to be in town for anyway?” 

“Told you yesterday I was working here,” she mumbled. “So for the foreseeable future, because I kind of like my job. How about you, what are you doing these days?” 

“Same. Trying to move out of my parents house now that Mikasa has. I told Armin that I bumped into you.” 

“You did? Is he mad at me?” 

“Nope,” Eren shook his head. “I told him that I was going to come over here and try and talk to you tonight maybe and he wanted to come, but I didn't know if you were going to want to see him so I told him to hold off.” 

She scoffed. “Of course I'd want to see him.” 

“I'll tell him then.” He paused. “Maybe the three of us could hang out sometime.” 

She felt a pang in her chest, despite all of her objections coming back she really had missed her friends in Shiganshina and she was a little overwhelmed that they still wanted her in their lives and it wasn't as if she'd made any real friends at her new workplace yet. “I guess that wouldn't be so horrible.” 

Eren flashed her a smile as he pulled himself to his feet. “I'll see you around then, won't I?”

“Looks like you will.” She watched as he walked down the path away from the house, turning round when he reached the gate.

“Oh and [name]?”

“Hmmm?”

“I missed you.” 

She couldn't help the smile that she flashed back at him. “Yeah, I missed you too.” 

~*~

As she'd learn over the following weeks and months, things had definitely changed since she'd been absent and most of it was for the better. After they'd broken up, Eren had seemed to concentrate more on his own life instead of waiting around for his friends and he'd worked hard and graduated from college, gotten a decent job in his field straight away and had a new, wider group of friends around him. There'd even been more girls he'd dated, one of them for over a year, as Mikasa had been quick to tell her one of the very first times they'd all been together since she'd gotten back.

It was just nice to see that Eren had developed for the better in the time she'd been absent from his life and so he was different to the Eren that she once knew, yet somehow so familiar to her and once she'd reconnected with Armin, they'd fallen into a pattern of spending a lot of time together, not only joined by Mikasa and Jean sometimes, but also a rotation of other people they'd gotten close to in her absence and were happy to introduce her to. Armin's girlfriend, Annie was the most permanent fixture, though. Annie's best friend, Bertholdt, his boyfriend Reiner and Sasha and Connie, whom Eren had grown closer to were the others who she saw most frequently, though.

That evening, however, it was just the five of them – Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean and [name]. Aside from Annie, who was working late, everyone else had come up with an excuse to not be present because it would involve helping out, because today was the day that Mikasa and Jean were moving into their own place. 

Or rather, today had been the day that they'd moved into their own place and it had been an incredibly long day moving boxes around and helping to unpack it. It hadn't improved by the way Jean and Eren would argue over who could carry the heaviest stuff, so it was somewhat of a relief that now the five of them now sat around the half-unpacked living room floor eating Chinese food. [name] herself wasn't taking much part in the conversations that were going on around her, she was just trying to concentrate on the food on her plate because well... she was sitting next to Eren and over the past few weeks, she'd started to feel a little weird about being around him so much. Like, she didn't hate it, at all she liked it just...

...probably more than she should have.

And the heat from his body next to her was really fucking distracting and the last thing she wanted was for one of them to realize how weirdly uncomfortable in a good way she was. Because there was no way that this whole thing was going to happen again. 

“So, [name]...” She was forced to look up and pay attention to what was going on around her when she heard her name. Jean was the one who'd spoken to her, he was looking at her with that cocky smirk of his on his face. “Marco's coming in for the wedding a week early, I thought maybe you'd want to hang out with him.” 

She couldn't help but frown, because as far as she knew they'd all already made plans to have some sort of school reunion for those who were in Shiganshina anyway. “...Are we not doing the dinner thing anymore?” 

“Well,” Jean shrugged. “Yeah, I just thought maybe the two of you could hang out alone.” 

Before [name] had the chance to open her mouth and point at that as much as she did like Marco, she didn't want to go on a date with him – or anyone – right now while she was trying to figure out her life (and... figure out how to get rid of the dumb feelings for Eren that had crept back) Eren spoke. “Does Marco know you're trying to set him up on a date?” 

“Well... no...” 

“What the fuck is with you? It's bad enough that you got Mikasa to nag me about going out with that Mina girl last week...” Wait, what? This was news to [name], when exactly had this taken place and why hadn't she been informed?? “The last thing anyone needs is for you trying to play cupid.” 

A flush crept up on Jean's cheeks and she wasn't sure whether it was embarrassment or anger, she half expected for him and Eren to start snapping at each other, but with one look from Mikasa he just shrugged. “How'd that go by the way?” 

“Fine,” Eren replied, eyes still narrowed. “It was fine.” 

“Are you going to see her again?” Mikasa joined in, pushing for answers.

“No.”

“Why.” 

Eren gave an exasperated sigh. “Because.” He shot a glare in Mikasa's direction and she seemed to get the hint that he no longer wanted to talk about it, which sucked because even though she wasn't pleased at this news, in a sick way [name] wanted to hear all the gory details. Instead, the group fell silent and the only sounds that could be heard was the scratching of forks on paper plates. 

“So, what do you think about it?” Jean asked again. 

“If you're still trying to ask me to go on a date with Marco, the answer is no.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Why are you trying to set me up?” 

Jean wrapped an arm around Mikasa's shoulders. “Just want everyone to be as happy as we are, that's all.” 

“Well don't worry about me,” she mumbled, looking down at her food. “I am happy, I don't need anyone. I've never needed anyone.” 

Eren laughed next to her. “Apart from that time you needed me to set Mikasa on Hitch so she'd stop picking on you?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, I needed you that once.”

“I dunno,” Eren laughed again, his voice switching to a low, teasing tone. “I seem to remember quite a few other times you told me you needed me.” Oh God, why? She could kill him for that, she could kill herself for the way she felt her cheeks heat up. 

“You're the worst.” She growled back at him. 

Eren just laughed and poked his tongue out at her.

And she really wished that she was as irritated as she was pretending to be, she really wished that she didn't want to kiss her dumb high school sweetheart right now because the last thing she needed were these stupid, seemingly ever increasing feelings for him. 

And judging from the half smile on Armin's face as he looked at her, then at Eren and back to her, he was more than aware what was going through her mind. 

~*~

Mikasa and Jean's wedding day approached a lot quicker than anyone could have anticipated, probably due to the busy-ness that surrounded everyone in the weeks leading up to the event and because [name] barely saw either of them in those few weeks, because there always seemed to be another meeting with a caterer, or Mikasa had to check if her dress needed to be taken in. Plus she herself had been invited (she assumed that was mainly Jean's idea, because though Mikasa had somewhat warmed back up towards her, she still made it clear that it was because she had to tolerate her) and had spent a lot of her free time looking for dresses. 

And she was sure it was going to take Eren a while to forgive her for dragging him along on those excursions, though they had eventually settled on a beautiful dress that he'd been more than complimentary about... 

She'd thought they were hanging out a lot when they'd started talking again, but now it was a rare event that a day went past without her seeing Eren. Sure, spending that much time didn't help the dumb feelings she was harbouring for him, but it really did beat hanging out with her Mom all night. And sometimes Armin and Annie were around too, so that was a plus.

She had a feeling that Eren's parents thought they were back together though... they were way to nice to her than she deserved. 

That morning she arrived at the Jaegar household plenty of time before the wedding because she knew that Karla would want to be around Mikasa helping her get ready as much as possible and she'd do anything to help them out. She spent most of the morning helping assist Grisha and Jean's mother with a bunch of small tasks to make things go as smoothly as possible. Infact, she was so distracted by helping out that until Grisha mentioned it to her and asked her to go find him, it hadn't occurred to her that she hadn't seen Eren. 

And so, she found herself outside of the door to his bedroom, rapping on it lately. 

“Hmmm?” A voice called from inside.

She cleared her throat. “Hey, it's me, can I come in?” 

“Mhm...” 

She couldn't help but smile to herself as she remembered the last time she'd been dispatched to go drag Eren out of his room, way back when. “I swear, Eren...” she said jokingly as she pushed the door open. “If you're sitting there organizing Pokemon cards today...” She wasn't quite sure what she was expecting to see on the other side of the door. Maybe him still in bed having slept through most of the morning which would explain his absence, but no, he was up and awake and fully dressed sitting on the floor surrounded by what appeared to be photographs. “...Eren?” 

“Hey,” he looked up. “What're you doing here?” 

“Helping out your Dad and Mrs Kirschtein so your Mom can be with Mikasa...” she shrugged. “I think everything is pretty much ready now and so your Dad told me to come up here and find out what you were doing. What... are you doing?” 

Eren's eyes darted back to the box in front of him. “Looking at old photos...” 

“Yeah?2 She asked, gracefully folding her dress underneath her so that she could sit down next to him on the floor and look over his shoulder without rumpling it up. The picture he was currently holding showed he and Mikasa standing outside the front of the Jaegar household, wearing their old school uniform so she guessed it was their first day of school or something. Other photos on the ground in front of him showed him, his parents and Mikasa in various stages of their lives. A lot of them showed Armin too, sometimes even her. “Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” he said again. “Maybe a little freaked out that my sister is getting married,” he pulled a face. “To Jean Kirschtein of all people.” 

She couldn't help but laugh. “You bond with Jean now, don't pretend you don't, I've witnessed it.” 

Eren glared at her, but ultimately seemed to not want to dignify that was an answer and instead looked down at the picture in his hand again before gathering the rest of them up and putting them back into the box. He cleared his throat. “I don't know why I'm so worried about her, she's still going to be my sister...”

She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You're never getting rid of Mikasa,” she said softly. “She's always going to be around, even if Jean's always around too.”

Eren put the lid back onto the box and pushed it away from him. “I guess.” He fell silent, until he opened his mouth to speak again. “And I can't believe I'm older than her and she's getting married before I am.” 

[name] removed her hand from his shoulder, taken aback. “I didn't know you were planning on getting married anytime soon.” 

“I'm not,” Eren retorted. “I just thought there was supposed to be an order to these kind of things.” 

“Don't think so,” she shrugged. “I don't think you can order love... when it happens, it just happens.” 

“Right.” He said. “And sometimes love doesn't work out that great either, because you think everything is going well and then you get dumped.” He looked up just in time to see the way she blanched at his statement, an actual punch to the stomach probably would have hurt less. “Sorry. I shouldn't have said that... it's a weird day.” She shrugged and he looked away from her, his eyes focusing on the wall in front of him. “I thought that we'd end up getting married.” 

She felt like she might be sick. “Things change,” she told him, wondering if he could hear the edge to her voice. “People grow up.” 

“Right.”

“It's not a bad thing though, people need to have a chance to change and develop.” She folded her hands into her lap and stared down at them so she wouldn't have to look a him. 

“Do you ever think about it?”

“Do I ever think about what?”

“That. Us. What would have been if you hadn't decided I was clingy and broken up with me.” 

She looked up at her and narrowed her eyes, raising a hand to him in a 'stop' motion to cut him off before he opened his big mouth again. “Excuse me, don't put words in my mouth. I don't believe I've ever used the word 'clingy' to describe you...” she took a moment to be immature and get back at him for all the hurtful statements he'd spoken so far that day “...even though you were clingy. But yeah, I guess we might have gotten married if we'd ended up staying together and things hadn't gone the way they had when I left for college.” She swallowed. “If we were still together after I'd graduated, I probably would have said yes...” she trailed off, embarrassment getting the better of her.

Silence fell over the pair of them again, which [name] had no issue with because anything to end the most awkward conversation they'd ever gotten into to date and she hoped that this meant that they could just leave and go to the wedding and his mood would improve and everything would be okay. But then he decided to open his mouth and speak again. And she could have killed him for it.

“Do you ever wish,” he asked, raising his head so that his green eyed locked onto her own. “That you'd never broken up with me?” 

She swallowed, how exactly was she supposed to ask that? I didn't until I started spending more time with you and I kind of do? But I still think it was ultimately for the best. “Yes and no,” she said slowly, her tone soft. “I don't regret it because you stopped relying on me and that was good for you, but that doesn't mean that I stopped caring for you...”

“I see.” She shivered under Eren's intense gaze, but refused to look away and break eye contact first. The room was so quiet and all she could hear was the sound of her own heart beating loudly as he leant towards her. He was... he was going to kiss her wasn't he? She wanted him too, more than she'd wanted anything she could remember. She couldn't stop herself, she automatically moved to meet him halfway until their lips were mere centimetres apart...

And then they jumped at the sound of a rapid knocking on Eren's bedroom door. “Come on, we were supposed to leave five minutes ago!” Grisha Jaegar's voice had an irritated edge to it and cut through the tension in the room. Eren took one last look at her, before leaping to his feet and leaving the room, leaving her to trail along behind him.

~*~

Mikasa and Jean's wedding was a beautiful afternoon and [name] wasn't ashamed to say that she cried a little and she was pretty sure that she'd never seen Mikasa look that happy before. She still didn't look as happy as Jean did (Even though he'd tried to hide it, [name] had definitely noticed that he'd cried). After the wedding, there'd been photo and back to the hotel that the guests from out of town were staying at and that Mikasa and Jean and the rest of their family would be staying at (at least until the two of them left for their Honeymoon early that morning, of course) for a wedding breakfast. After that was the reception, which [name] herself had just left it was quite late now and she'd just been intending to walk home. 

But then.... she'd ended up in this situation. And that situation was that she was currently sitting on Eren's bed in Eren's room at the hotel while listening to the water running in the bathroom as Eren prepared himself for sleep. He'd insisted that she come back with him because it 'wasn't safe' for her to be walking around this time at night when she'd been drinking. Except she hadn't even drunk that much, she was tipsy at a push, certainly not full-blown drunk.

She'd tried to tell him this, that she was capable of getting herself home unscathed, but still... here she was, so that he wouldn't worry about her. And partly because she really wanted to be here too. 

She crossed her legs, shuffling nervously and uncomfortably as thoughts from earlier on in the day flashed into her mind and she wondered if she could maybe just say that her Mom had text her and told her she'd feel a lot better if [name] came home so she knew she was safe. She could get a cab if she had too, but she knew that spending the night here with Eren was a bad idea and that she wasn't helping herself and the way she felt by still being here....

She really should leave.

But she didn't want to. 

“Hey,” she looked up as the bathroom door clicked shit, she'd been so lost in thoughts that she hadn't even heard the sink stop in the bathroom. “Are you okay? You look worried.” 

“I'm fine,” she shrugged. “Just... wondering if I should maybe go home... maybe it's not such a good idea for me to be here. We don't want to give people the wrong idea.” 

“You're not going anywhere this late,” Eren frowned. “And what 'wrong idea' are they going to get?”

She just looked at him. Surely he wasn't that dumb. 

“Oh,” Eren laughed. “Stop worrying about what other people think about you. I know I'd rather that a couple of people gossiped than take the risk of you getting hurt on the way home because it's dark and you're alone.” He sat down next to her on the bed, wrapping what he probably thought was a reassuring arm around her shoulder. “Don't worry about people, okay?”

“I guess,” she mumbled back at him as she allowed him to pull her closer and let her head drop down onto his shoulder. Her thoughts of this morning were back full throttle and even though she knew the awkwardness it could cause, she so desperately wanted him to casually bring it up so she knew what he was thinking about it. Instead of speaking though, he rubber her arm affectionately and she wanted to cry, because there was no way that this boy didn't know what he was doing to her. The silence made her feel all the more uncomfortable and when she just couldn't handle it anymore she blurted out. “Mikasa looked beautiful today.” 

A grin of fondness for his little sister crossed Eren's face. “She really did, didn't she? Pity it was all for Jean though.” 

“Shut up,” she chuckled. “She makes him really happy and he makes her happy. Everyone deserves someone who makes them happy.” 

“I suppose,” much to her dismay Eren withdrew his arm from around her, sitting up straighter. “So what about you? Do you have someone who makes you happy.”

Yes. You. Even though this is dumb and I shouldn't feel this way about someone I broke up with years ago. “Maybe..” she muttered. “Do you?”

“All I know is that being around you makes me happy,” she hadn't expected the bold statement to come from Eren's lips, but it had and he was looking at her with those dumb intense green eyes again and she might throw up. “Seeing you every day makes me happy, making you laugh makes me happy, there are about a million things about you that make me happy.” 

She took a couple of seconds to process what he was saying and though he opened his mouth to say something else, she didn't give him the chance because her hand found his tie, pulling him closer to her so that she could slam her lips onto his. He didn't hesitate to respond, tugging her closer with a groan and deepening the kiss. When she pulled away, but only because she needed air, she smiled up at him as she tried to catch her breath. “I'm glad I came back to Shiganshina.” 

Eren grinned. “I'm glad you came back too,” then his smile faded as his lips pulled themselves into a frown though. “Is this okay though? I don't want this to end up like last time.” 

“It won't, I'm home now, we both grew up. It's different and if we've been adult enough to become friends again, I think we're adult enough to talk if we have any issues...”

Eren considered this for a second before nodding. “So we're adult enough to do adult things?” He asked, a wicked grin returning to his face. 

She laughed. “C'mere and let's find out...”

~*~

The next morning when she wakes up, Eren is nowhere to be seen and a rush of panic runs through [name]'s body until she realizes that she can hear the sound of the shower from the bathroom and that's a good indication to where he is. She shifts herself into an upright position and she can't help but smile to herself as she gets a sudden flood of memories from last night. Because the previous night was a very memorable one indeed,

Her eyes look around the room as she tries to locate where she dropped her bag when they'd gotten back to the room so she can find her phone, she catches a look at herself in the mirror that's across the room and she flushes with embarrassment at the sight of herself. Her hair, the hair that she spent ages on before leaving for the Jaegar's yesterday has an absolute mess, her lips are a couple of shades darker than what is natural to her and utterly kiss swollen and is that...? She brushes her fingers over the red mark on her neck. Yep, that's a hickey alright, Eren's marked her. How embarrassing.

When she locates her bag, she climbs back into the bed with it and studies her phone. Since she's been away from it, there are a few texts, one from Jean (and she supposed, by default, Mikasa) thanking her for coming, one from Connie thanking her for keeping an eye on Sasha (who'd be rather intoxicated before Connie'd dragged her home) and two from her Mom, checking that she's okay and wondering where she is. She replies to that one, just to let her know that she's fine and she'll see her later. 

And then there's another alert for her Facebook app, letting her know that she has a request. She almost doesn't open it, she almost throws her phone back into the bag and stretches out on the bed again because she's sure it's probably just a 'you have been tagged in photos' notification, but then again knowing that it's there will just annoy her... 

The 'Eren Jaegar has sent you a relationship request' comes as quite the surprise, because that's the last thing she was expecting it to be, but it's definitely a welcome surprise. 

She doesn't hesitate to click 'accept' and she feels like she'll never stop smiling. The sound of water in the bathroom stops, alerting her that Eren's out of the shower and he'll probably be out in a second, so she's about to throw her phone down on the bed all ready to greet him. Then it beeps twice in quick succession and she finds herself with two new Facebook alerts. 

Armin Arlert likes this. 

His comment is a mix of exclamation marks and smiley faces, but it ends with the words 'it's about time'.


	9. PAST: Age 23

[name] opens her eyes with a groggy yawn, she blinked a couple of times before her eyes focus and she begins to recognize both the familiar surroundings of Eren's room and the warmth of his body against her. He's still fast asleep, eyes closed, breathing even, face settled into a sweet expression and one arm slung around her waist holding her somewhat close to him. She carefully sits up a little more to get a look at the clock on the table next to him before snuggling closer to her boyfriend. The alarm isn't due to go off for at least another half an hour, she might as well make the most of it. 

As her eyes droop closed again, the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and walking around on the landing alert her to the fact that Grisha and Karla are already up and awake and she can't help but wonder if they ever get a little annoyed at the amount of time she spends in their house. When she and Eren had gotten back together a little over a year before, it'd been maybe one night a week but the longer they've been together, the more she'd been around. She can't actually remember the last morning she woke up not in Eren's arms and at least 90% of the time, it's in his room. 

It's not like she has any complaints about the situation, it's just that sometimes her tendency to feel guilty took over and she wondered if she should maybe offer to pay some rent towards the Jaegar's, after all half of her belongings have migrated into their sons room. 

Like most nights, when she'd come over the previous night she hadn't intended to stay over and like most nights she hadn't planned to even be at Eren's house, but then he'd text her and told her that he needed to talk to her about something important and she couldn't say no to that. As it happened, they hadn't actually spoken about anything important because Armin had called in a rush of excitement and they'd gone to see what he'd been so excited about – it had turned out that he'd found a dusty old, yet first edition book in the library that he worked at. Which was great for Armin (and definitely great for the library if it turned out to be worth anything) but she would have preferred to have found out what Eren had wanted to talk about, especially because when they'd left, he'd asked her back to his and when they'd gotten back, the door to his room was barely shut before his lips were ghosting her neck as he pressed his hips against her and winded and pleaded because it'd been 'so long'.

She'd been trying to keep a resolve not to give in to him unless they were alone, but even then the 'so long' had been about a week and it had been because she'd noticed that one morning over breakfast Grisha hadn't been able to look her in the eye – an alert that he'd definitely heard their activities the previous night and oh how she'd wanted to die. 

She was starting to consider working as much overtime as work would throw at her, even if meant spending less time around the people she cared about because all she really wanted for the pair of them was somewhere where they could shut everyone out and be alone and have their privacy away from their parents. Seriously, this economy needed to clear up as soon as possible because living at home at the age of twenty-three should be a choice and not something people were forced to do because of money. Yeah, all she wanted was no her mother insisting that they watch TV with her when they were at her place when they hadn't seen each other for hours and all they wanted to do was go spend some time talking alone. And no Karla busting in without knocking to ask if they wanted tea. And no Grisha acting like his toast was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen in his life so he didn't have to look at her. Just their own place, for just the two of them. 

The low mutter that could be heard from outside the door alerted her to the fact that Grisha and Karla were still wondering around out there. She could vaguely make out what was being said. “I was going to bring up some tea, but I'm not sure if he came home last night after he and [name] left for Armin's and I don't want to just walk in there...” It was Karla's voice and [name] held in a snort, it wouldn't be the first time Karla had just waltzed into Eren's room without knocking. 

“He came back,” Grisha's voice responded. “They both did.” 

“Oh? You saw them?” 

“Not exactly...” Grisha coughed. Oh no. Please no. Not again. “I got up to use the bathroom and I uh, heard them.” 

Oh fuck her life. That was it, no matter how much Eren begged and pleaded and kissed that spot she kinda wished he'd never found out about on the back of her neck, or pushed his hips into hers and whispered what he thought were sweet nothings into her ear – nope, she was never ever having sex with him again. Especially not in this house.

She could before Grisha or Karla had the chance to speak again, a slight fear overtaking her that she might hear them say something that she really didn't want to hear. There were more mumbles between them and then footsteps walking away from the door. 

Seriously. Just fuck her life. 

She felt the bed shift next to her, an alert that Eren's woken up. Something presses against the top of her head, Eren's lips no doubt. “Morning beautiful.” he speaks, his voice rough in the early morning hour.

“Morning,” she replies, her voice coming out a little more stiffer and irritated than she'd intended it too. But then again, this day wasn't off to the best of starts. 

She felt Eren tense next to her. “...Everything okay? Didn't you sleep well?”

She sighed. “Uh, your Dad heard is again.” 

“Oh,” Eren grunted. “That's not good...” 

She disentangled herself from his arms. “Nope, it's not.” She lay down on her stomach and turned to look up at him. “It's not good at all, it's really, really embarrassing actually. I know they're not, obviously, but it kind of makes me feel creeped out and like they're probably judging me.”

Eren shook his head. “Obviously they're not...” a smirk crossed his lips. “And anyway, it's okay because it's not like we're going to be spending much time here anymore anyway.” 

She looked up at him again with weary eyes. “What?”

A look of confusion crossed his face then as if a light bulb was going off in his mind, he chuckled. “Oh right, we never did have that talk last night...” 

She'd been curious as to what he'd wanted to speak to her about, obviously, but suddenly she found herself very eager to hear what he had to say. “...What did you want to talk to me about, Eren...?”

He smiled his easy grin. “You love me right, baby?”

She nodded curiously. “...Yeah? Wouldn't be here if I didn't.” 

He laughed. “Well, be prepared to love me more.” 

She rolled her eyes. “We both know that's not possible.” 

“Okay well, yesterday I signed the lease for an apartment.”

“Okay, whoa what?! Totally possible.” She jolted upright, looking down at the man before her. “Wait, are you actually serious?”

He nodded. “Everything fell into place, moving in next week.”

She beamed at him, she couldn't help it. They were seriously about to have their own space? He was going to have an apartment she could go to whenever? Yes! Privacy! “I love you so much right now.”

Eren chuckled nervously. “Actually, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about. You know how a lot of your clothes and things are just here anyway?”

“...Uh-huh?”

“I thought maybe I could bring it with me when I move to the new apartment and then... you could bring the rest of your stuff over there.” As casually as he'd tried to speak, it was quite obvious he was nervous.

She blinked, confused. “But then all of my stuff would be...” Realization hit her. “Wait, Eren, are you asking me to move in with you?”

Eren looked away from her. “Don't feel like you have to...”

“Eren...” 

“It's understandable if you don't want to...” 

“Eren...”

“I just don't want to make you feel like I'm suffocating you again.” 

“Oh for the love of...” she snapped. “Eren, would you let me answer you? We're practically living together already, so yes, I want to come and live with you okay?” How was this even a question? Honestly, though half of the time their sleepovers were unplanned, there was nothing she loved more than waking up next to him every day, so making it official? She couldn't think of anything better.

Eren grinned so wide, she was a little worried his face was about to split in two. “You're serious?”

She nodded. “Would much rather live than you than my Mom.” 

“Or my Mom and Dad and their eavesdropping habits?” He taunted.

She pulled a face. “Too soon. Way too soon.”

He laughed and tugged her down on top of him so he could press a soft kiss to her lips. “We're really doing this then?” When she smiled and nodded, he couldn't help but grin again. “Awesome.” He placed one hand on her cheek and pulled her face down so that he could give her a longer kiss.

It was just deepening when the door to his bedroom door burst open and Karla's voice chirped out. “Come on, rise and shin-- OH! I'm sorry!”

Next week... really couldn't come soon enough.


	10. PAST: Age 23

Ever since both of their children had flown the nest (Mikasa and Jean remained happily married and Eren and [name] had been living together and enjoying domestic bliss for a little over a year now) Karla had decided that Sunday's were a family day and they should all be together and so they would all descend on the Jaegar house every Sunday for dinner. It had worked out quite well from them so far, none of them had skipped a Sunday yet, at least and it ensured that she and Grisha got to see their children at least once a week and be caught up on their lives. Of course, this was something that Karla hoped would go on for as long as possible and include the grandchildren she was still anticipating (and seriously, Mikasa had been married for like almost two years now – what the hell was taking so long???)

This week was no different to the many previous weeks since Eren had moved out, except that Grisha had had to step out of the house to visit a patient on an emergency performance and so they were preparing things so that it would be all prepared and ready for when he came back. [name] and Jean had been left in charge of setting the table and so were hanging out and chatting in the dining room until they were needed , meanwhile as Karla prepared to hang some washing out to dry, she supervised Eren and Mikasa as they chopped vegetables.

Yes, everything was extremely normal in the Jaegar house... well, except for the twitchy way that Eren kept looking over at his sister... If Karla was a suspicious woman she'd think that Eren knew something she didn't... but neither of her kids were very good at keeping secrets, so if was important than she'd soon hear about it... 

As she exited the room with her basket of clothes, Eren threw his knife down and looked over his shoulder into the dining room to make sure that his brother-in-law and girlfriend weren't paying attention to him and then he cleared his throat. “Hey, Mikasa?”

“Hmmm?” She didn't look up from the vegetables she was chopping. “What is it, Eren?”

He glanced over his shoulder again. “I think I need your help. I think I'm ready to take the next step.”

“The next step where?”

“I mean with [name], I want to propose to her.”

The knife clattered against the chopping board as it slipped out of Mikasa's hand. She turned to face her brother with a look of concern. “Eren, that's... a huge step. Are you sure about this?”

He nodded. “I'm sure that I love her and that I've always loved her and it just seems like the next natural progression. I want to spend the rest of my life with her...” Eren's voice was full of fondness for his girlfriend.

“So how am I supposed to help you?”

“Well, you're a girl...”

Mikasa scoffed. “Excellent deduction.”

“So you'd be better at making decisions about like... the ring? I have a couple in mind and I just need a second opinion, will you come shopping with me next week?”

Mikasa sighed. There was no way she could turn down her brother when his green eyes shined with hope the way they did. “If that's what you really want,” she said softly. “Then I'll help, I just hope you know what you're doing, Eren. Because why rock the boat?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I'm only thinking of what's the best for you,” Mikasa spoke slowly. “You're both happy and comfortable. Why change things now? Especially when we both know about the track record she has...”

A pained expression crossed Eren's face. “You think if I ask her to marry me, she'll dump me again.”

Mikasa fell silent, before she sighed. “I just don't want to ever see you hurt like that again.”

“No,” Eren shook his head defiantly. “She wouldn't do that, not now, not this time. We're older now.” But there was a thought at the back of his brain that nagged him... would she? 

Mikasa sighed again. “If you're sure this is what you want, then I'll support you. I just think you should think this over a little more before you commit to it.” She picked up her knife again, turning her attention back to the vegetables. “And if you don't, I hope that it goes well for you. I'm free Thursday.”

Though her back was turned and she couldn't see him, Eren nodded, returning to his own task too. He'd been so excited and hopeful and Mikasa was just being overcautious... wasn't she?


	11. PRESENT: Age 24 {2}

“I've... changed my mind,” Eren looked up from the plate in front of him and at the two people he was sharing lunch with. “I'm not going to do it.” 

Mikasa sighed. “Again?” She'd lost count of the amount of times Eren had told her that he wasn't going to go through with it in the past two weeks since he'd gone shopping for and picked out [name]'s engagement ring. She knew that she should have kept her mouth shut when he told her he was thinking about it, because it seemed like he words had stuck with him and he was over thinking things, because every time it seemed like had had settled on something, he'd change his mind. She wasn't going to apologize for being concerned though, because she was always the one who picked up the pieces of her brother when something happened to him. She'd thought he'd finally, finally settled on what he was doing, especially when he called her to invite her out to lunch so that he could tell Armin what he was planning to do, but no, apparently not. At this point she just really wanted him to settle on something so that they could all move on with their lives. Yes, she was terrified that things would go bad for him but... they were never going to get a real answer about how [name] felt for the situation unless he just did it. 

Armin looked from Eren to Mikasa and frowned. “I knew something was going on, is anyone going to actually tell me what's happening?”

Eren shrugged. “I was going to tell you that I'm proposing to [name] tonight, but now I'm not, so it doesn't matter.” 

Armin's blue eyes widened. “What?! You're crazy about her, she's crazy about you... why wouldn't you propose to her?” 

“We didn't talk about it...” Eren shrugged. “And what if she doesn't want it to happen? I couldn't handle breaking up with her a second time.”

It was as if Armin just knew that this was partly down to Mikasa, because he shot a look in her direction before he turned back to Eren. “She wouldn't do that. She loves you, if she didn't want to get engaged then she'd just tell you she wasn't ready and let you down gently... but I can't see her breaking up with you again. If you want to do it, just do it... don't let anyone influence you.” 

“She did it once though,” Mikasa retorted, irritated. “Do you really want to see him get hurt like that again?”

“You should let that go,” Armin said, his voice calm. “Everyone else has because it was five years ago and we all grew up, we're all different and mature now. If Eren wants to propose to her, then he should do it because I'm sure she'll say yes.” 

“Except you can't be sure she'll say yes,” Mikasa responded coolly. “You're not psychic, you don't know what goes on in her mind.” 

“Mikasa,” Armin snorted. “I love you but you're being ridiculous right now. You can't tell him not to take risks, he has to spread his own wings. I know you don't like her that much but-”

Mikasa let out an irritated noise, cutting him off. “Nobody is saying that I'm not fond of her, I just thought maybe it would be for the best for Eren to wait for some kind of hint or sign, but he knows I'll support him in whatever he does.”

Eren had had enough, he stood up and pulled out his wallet and threw a few notes down onto the table. “I'm going to be late getting back to work,” he said. He hadn't wanted this at all, he'd thought that if he told Armin how he was feeling then maybe he'd feel better about everything and be able to make a real decision, but he hadn't expected the two of them to start bickering like school children. He'd be lying if he said that Mikasa's words back at his parents house weren't haunting him... because she was right. [name] had snapped before because he'd been too clingy and fallen out of his life for years but now there was a lot more at stake – they lived together, they split bills and they'd somehow gained a cat (more her idea than his) and she'd never really mentioned marriage. He'd always thought that she was probably waiting for him to progress to that level, but maybe he was just dumb and maybe it was because marriage wasn't a thing that she wanted right now. 

She probably wasn't ready to take the next step. So he wouldn't either. His mind was made up.

He wasn't going to do it.

~*~

Eren cursed under his breath as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his waist and a pair of lips pressed themselves into his back. He hadn't heard her come in and so he hadn't been expecting that and had almost knocked the bubbling put of sauce off of the stove and all over himself. He turned the heat down and turned round to embrace the woman in front of him. “Hey baby.” 

“Hey,” she replied, burying her face into his chest, which he'd learnt was a surefire sign that she'd had a terrible day at work. “Something smells good.” 

“Just making a pasta thing,” he told her as he brought a hand up to stroke her hair. “Bad day?” 

“Terrible, the worst day ever,” she chirped back at him, face still pressed into his chest. “But I'm back here with you now, so that makes it a little better.” 

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, he was happy to see her too because lunch with Mikasa and Armin had put him in a bad mood for the remainder of the day. “Dinners almost ready, it'll be about another ten minutes.” 

“You're too good to me,” she mumbled as she pulled away from the embrace and paused to look up at him with a playful grin. “I'll think I'll keep you. Just going to go and check the news and get out of these work clothes then.” She pressed a quick kiss to his mouth and turned to wonder out of the room. He'd barely turned back to the sauce he was preparing before she was calling out to him. “Hey, Eren, the TV remote won't work! Do we have any spare batteries?”

“Uh, I don't know, check my drawer?” He called back to here. “There's probably some In there.” The drawer in question was in Eren's bedside table and it tended to be where he shoved anything they might need at some point and didn't want to loose, spare batteries, the occasional takeaway menu, etc. He'd admit that it got somewhat messy in there and so she didn't usually go in there. That's why after he'd bought her ring he'd...

Oh shit. 

Cursing under his breath as he turned the stove down again, Eren turned and ran towards the bedroom in the hopes that he'd stop her before she found anything she shouldn't have. 

But.

It was too late. She was standing there with the open ring box clutched in her hand looking confused. He cleared his throat to alert her to his presence and she looked up. “Eren... What is this?”

“Uh, that's a ring, I think?”

She swallowed and looked back at it. “...Did I see something I shouldn't have?” 

He coughed nervously. “You could say that.” 

“So,” she looked up at him. “Should I forget I saw it?” 

He badly wanted to say yes, but instead he shrugged. “Do you think you'd be able to do that?”

She shook her head. “No, I probably wouldn't be able to do that.” A pause. “Why to you even have this?”

“Well,” Eren rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Same reason any guy buys a ring really, I was going to ask you to marry me.” 

“Oh.” She said softly.

And... she didn't look repulsed by the idea. Infact, was that a little twinkle of excitement in her eyes? Well... This isn't how he thought this would go but.... He crossed the room and reached out towards her, gently tugging the box from her grasp, as she watched him intently. He put it down on the bed next to them, before he reached for her hands and sat down on the bed, tugging her down next to him. “[name]...” 

“Eren...”

“I love you,” he started.

“I love you too,” she replied. 

“Baby just... let me do this okay? You don't have to speak.” He took a deep breath. “[name] [middlename] [lastname],” he looked at her, expecting her to interrupt again but instead she stayed silent. “I love you, I've always loved you and I can't imagine that there'll be a time when I do love you. I know we've had our ups and downs and that things haven't always been the most perfect and that things have happened. But... the way you walked back into my life after all that time we spent apart kind of feels like destiny.” He paused to swallow and noticed her eyes were full of tears. “And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I never want to be apart from you again. So... will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” 

He waited, his stomach tight and his breath caught in his throat for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably really only a couple of seconds. The uncried tears in her eyes were now streaming down her face and she nodded, choking out a “Yes!” He released his breath, picked up the ring and slipped the simple diamond band onto her finger.

She took a moment to hold her hand out in front of her and admire the way it looked. “It's beautiful,” she whispered.

“Like you.”

She placed her left hand on his cheek and pulled him in for a long passionate kiss that ended with the two of them sprawled out on the bed. When they were forced to separate to breath, she looked him in the yes and with a smile she told him

“I'm never letting you go again.”


	12. FUTURE: Age 29

A feeling of pressure on his chest pulled Eren from the deep sleep he'd been so enjoying. He opened his eyes and as his bleary vision focused the first thing he saw were a pair of big, green eyes staring right back at him. He couldn't help but smile. “Good morning, Princess.” 

The three year old owner of the green eyes grinned wildly at him and giggled. “Daddy!” 

He reached out a hand and stroked her chubby cheek tenderly, before gently picking her up and tossing her onto the mattress next to him, causing her to explode into even more giggles as he leant over and tickled her, occasionally sneaking kisses onto her chubby cheeks. 

“You two look like you're having fun,” Eren looked up to see his wife hovering by the side of the bed, presumably having been the one to set Klara onto it. “Makes some room for Mommy, though.” 

He scooped the still giggling child back up into his arms, pressing yet another kiss onto her head. “Good morning, gorgeous.” 

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him, then the little girl who'd made an indignant noise and puckered her own lips. “Sorry to take you, I know it's your day off, but she's been up since five and she's been asking for you for a while. She missed her Daddy.” 

Klara, who now had her head buried into Eren's chest, as she sucked on her fingers nodded solemnly. 

“Aww,” Eren looked over at the clock on the bedside table and winced when he saw that it was just past 9AM. Day off or not, he hadn't intended to sleep in this late. “You could have woken me up, I'd have gotten up with her.” 

“S'ok,” she mumbled and yawned, burying her head into her pillow. “Wasn't asleep anyway.” Her hands cupped her swollen belly. “Someone decided that my bladder was a football and kept me away almost all night.” She paused. “I'm so ready for this to be done with now.” Another yawn. 

Eren reached out and stroked his own hand over her swollen stomach. “Five more weeks maybe and then it'll all be over.” 

She made a non-committal noise.

“And it'll have been worth it then, right?” 

No response.

“...[name]?”

A small snore emitted from where she was buried in the pillows and he chuckled and clambered off the bed, still clutching Klara and being careful not to disturb the sleeping woman. He pressed a kiss into her cheek, feeling an overwhelming sense of love for his family and pulled up the blankets as best as he could. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “Get some sleep baby, I love you.” He quietly turned and crossed the room, turning his attention to the small lady in his arms when he was almost at the door. “Come on, let's let Mommy get some rest and spend some time with Daddy, okay?”

“'Kay!”

“You want to watch a movie?”

Her green eyes lit up at the prospect. “Mermaid!” She all but yelled.

“Shhh,” he chuckled. “Don't wake Mommy. Okay, The Little Mermaid it is.” he bopped her on the nose and took one last look at his sleeping love before closing the door behind him.

As he carried his babbling three year old down the stairs, he felt a warmth in his chest. He had an adorable daughter, a son he couldn't wait to meet in a few weeks and a woman he loved eternally so. The perfect family.

And he was extremely happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on Tumblr @sailoreiss.


End file.
